So this happened a while ago... I was browsing the internet for "stuff" and i my friend mailed me. FUCK! i checked it he said
Hi M***! Play super mario world for the nes. i know its shitty but this one is different, it actually feels like a mario game! and no its not the one joel played on vinesauce that game was bad news. any way heres a good copy of it. please play it and tell me if its good. you asshole. thanks
Wow it looks like i need to play it now. yeah my friend isn't the nicest person. He gave me the link to order it on amazon. it was a nes cartridge and had the super mario world label on it, it came from japan this was the last one. nothing weird. it was 20 bucks to buy it. hmm sounds ok. i ordered it. 5 hours or something later it came. strange... the man put the game in my mailbox, the mail man looked very scared like a gun was pointing at his head.
i went outside and the mail truck was gone. i got the cartridge. it was...red? like very dark red. the mario on the labels skin was...gray. IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE THAT ON THE WEBSITE!
well anyway i popped the cartridge in my nes. it started with "copyright 13th", seems normal. no 666 or anything. it started with the intro. mario's skin was white and the sky was black with a very dark red moon. there was no enemies but boo's with sad eyes. the music OH WAIT THERE WAS NO MUSIC! NOT EVEN SOUND!
i checked if i had volume but nope. the volume was on 20 as usual.
i pressed start and it said
player 1 sad
player 2 more sad
i was guessing those were the players. so i pressed player 1 and the files said:
HELLO I'M FILE
HELLO IM FILE
HELLO I'M FIEL
i know this isn't the biggest question but shouldn't the files be before the player screen? so i pressed the first one and OH GOD! the map was normal but the music was what you'll expect a very old computer frozen making a error message sound VERY LOUD! i went to yoshi's house it was called CRIME SCENE 1
the yoshi's house was at night with the red moon. it was raining blood well what it looked like. the trees had no leaves, no sound not even marios jumping, the only sound is pure rain. then a bunch of galoombas fell from the sky. but they were grey with red glowing eyes. mario died. it sent me back to the map with THAT SOUND!
i went to the first level it was called: GO AWAY NOBODY LOVES YOU!!!. i was now confused why my friend well tell me to pay 20 bucks for this. the first level looked normal. if you don't know how level 1 looks like just google it or something. the background was a bloody prison wall, HOW LOVELY? there was no enemies but some type of ghost.
it was a black blanket ghost with angry white eyes and a unicorn horn, yeah i know it sounds weird but really, they flew towards me fast! THERE WAS LIKE 40 OF THEM! they killed me a couple times.so i finally got past them. then i saw a banzai bill but its eyes were complete red with small black pupils and a bunch of huge fat red veins in the eyes and the teeth was dirty brown and blood dripping down its eyes. OH GOD IT WAS NOT PLEASANT TO SEE!
i jumped on the "bloody bill" and continued walking. the dragon coins were completely white with purple lips and 5 girlish eyes on them. I DID NOT TOUCH ANY OF THEM! the chargin chucks were gray and walked like galoombas. i then saw a big wall and the only thing i could of do was go inside.
i was in a boo house full of candles and the illuminati drawn on the walls and pentagrams and the WHO ARE YOU RUNNING FROM crap text on the walls written red and it also said BOW DOWN TO YOUR KING!
there was no holes and the boos were sad with there eyes shut, the boos didn't move or they didn't harm me. i then approached the king boo but he was...dead... with knives all over his body. then i saw a snooze hanging from the ceiling. then a giant greyish GUMBALL MACHINE FULL OF SKULLS, BLOOD AND GUTS appeared. the fuck? thats not even creepy its just weird. a bunch of dry bones came out but AHH! THERE BODIES! they were brown and extremely skinny full of pinkish bloody wrinkles of skin hanging from them, the dry bones were crying, IS EVERYTHING IN THIS GAME SAD?!. i nearly puked. i didn't know how to defeat the gumball machine, is the gumball machine the king?! no it can't be.
until gumball machine then threw a big black ball full of blood. i picked it up (yeah it could of been picked up) and i threw it straight at the gumball machines glass. the gumball machine exploded. blood all over the boos and walls and king boo (or should i say dead boo). all the boos then grabbed guns and all said AMEN. and they all started shooting mario. then this is where the game went to far.
it showed a picture of a mario from super mario 3D world in the house with a bloody piranha plant coming from marios stomach and a blooper tea bagging marios face with ink all over in fact the bloopers pussy was able to been seen, WHO MADE THIS?! and thwimps the mini thwomps on marios hands and knees smashing them. THIS WAS CLEARLY THE MOST DISTURBING THING I EVER SEEN! I PUKED ON THE FLOOR.
it had that picture for like 5 seconds. how can the NES even put a picture like that!? ON THE NES! oops never mind now even more disturbing picture popped up. it showed marios chopped off skull full of maggots with the mario hat looking burnt on its head. i puked again. UGH! I HATE PICTURES OF MAGGOTS ON DEAD PEOPLE THAT'S FUCKING NASTY! i'm guessing i died.
so i replayed the level afraid and got my hacking device so i can't be killed so i can see what other nasty disturbing fucked up shit was hiding in the level. this time when i entered it all those unighost the black ghost things were now all over the level EVERYWHERE BUT THE HOUSE! this time in the house all the boos were dead and king boo was hanging on a rope. the gumball machine was still broken with the eerie's (the original super mario world enemy) eating the skulls and guts. the eeries then started chasing me. they wanted to eat me. i found a door. it then lead me to a room and the back ground OH THE BACKGROUND! it was a low quality picture of a bloody dead corpse in a barn with there testicles blown up. OH GOSH HOW CAN THE NES HANDLE ALL THIS?! speaking of my nes my nes started getting really really burning torch hot.
i continued playing, another boss came. it was a reznor, well i was kinda happy one of my favorite mario characters was here. but reznor was white and pinkish eyes. THERES WAS NO WAY TO KILL HIM! he then got me in his mouth and shook mario around like a dog and marios bones and guts flew out. WHY REZNOR WHY? apparently my hacking device is having a off day. PROBABLY BECAUSE THIS ISN'T A LEGIT CAME
i decided to go to level 2, it was the ghost ship. dry bones everywhere. this actually looked like a real mario level! everything but the red moon with 1 big bleeding eye watching mario. then i saw a door. afraid as i was to enter i did it anyway.
i was now in a grave yard. all the graves said names of my family. i was all like NOPE NOPE NOPE! i used my hacking to skip that level cause that was too much already for that level. oh yeah 2nd level had no name. level 3 was named YOU THINK HACKS WILL SAVE YOU?!
i... i was frozen in fear. i dropped my nes controller. i got rid of my hacking device cause i thought something awful will happen if i use it again. so i played level 3 in fear. it was the level 2 from the original super mario world. but the bushes were red and the ground was red. the level was completely plain. then i saw some white giant scorpion skeleton thing. i had a pretty fun time battling him for a boss thats not in the original game.
when i beated him i started seeing a bunch of dark purple yoshis with no eyes with bleeding sockets in a frozen standing pose. and THAT FUCKING REDEAD SCREAM! yeah! it was very loud too!
i then found a regular green yoshi. he wasn't sad but had a huge frown. i tried jumping on him but he'll just run away. thats when yoshi jumped into a spike pit. yoshi has suicided. why?!
i then found a text box it said HELLO M**** NICE TO SEE YOU PLAYING MY GAME
your probaly saying. WELL HOW COME YOUR SCARED OF ALL THIS WHEN YOUR FRIEND PROBALY MADE IT?!.
well
1. my friend doesn't know how to work a nes he just watches his brother play it
2. my friend is extremely stupid
3. my friend was never exited into hacking and neither was his brother
4. the game came from china, so my friend didn't make it. he even said he didn't make it, we had a little chat after he sent me the email
so then i saw the exit. but the goal white thing was missing. so i had to restart the nes. how fun is that? the intro was the same but the files were named.
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
and the player thing said.
PLAYER 1 DEAD (a dead mario sprite)
PLAYER 2 DEAD (a dead mario and luigi sprite)
i put the 1 player. so anyway i was now at the castle it was called "blue hells castle of suffering" who or what is blue hell? i have no idea but a image of a blue fire land.
the castle was empty. it was full of yoshi's island bandits with skee mask's and black dresses. then i went into the boss door. it was what i think was blue hell. it was a reptillian cat with a shy guy face but bloody and had scars. blue hell said I'M GONNA DESTROY YOU!
i killed blue hell by bloody galoombas. after that a black screen appeared with written "私のゲームをプレイするためのおかげで" witch i used my hack devise to translate it to "thanks for playing my game"
the tv then turned off and my nes too. welp since its only 8 o clock i called my friend to come here at once. he said how do you like the game :) . i yelled LISTEN YOUR FUCKED UP AND GONNA EXPLAIN THIS RIGHT NOW! WHY YOUR SICK MIND MADE ME GET THIS GAME! I DON'T WANNA SEE ENEMIES CRYING I DON'T WANT TO SEE HOW A MAGGOT-FIED MARIO WILL LOOK LIKE! I WAS NEVER INTO TENTACLE PORN! I WAS NEVER...
my friend said WHOA WHOA SLOW DOWN JUST SHOW ME. when i turned on the TV a very high speeded dance music played with a low quallity gif of a naked girl having a seizure with her eyes out with blood coming out of the eyes, it was super sped up. it then showed a guy cutting off a kittens head with a giant sword. and it just kept repeating.
my friend started crying cause of what he just saw and grabbed my gun and tried to shoot me. shot my nes then shot himself. my friend was dead... he suicided. my nes is now broke. WELP I CAN'T GO TO JAIL HE SHOT HIMSELF HE MADE ME SHOW THIS TO HIM!
so i reported my friend that suicided to the cops and showed them the haunted super mario world copy on my new nes. it showed the same thing. the police left. i now have putted the haunted nes bootleg of super mario world on ebay, i'm selling it for 10 dollars cause i just need to give it away! i even put haunted cartridge on it. find it and buy it IF YOU DARE!!!